Study Abroad

Hello guys! I should be working on a paper at the moment (or two papers....) but I don't really know what I'm doing so it's hard to get anything done. So I thought, instead of working, I'd give you guys some updates on my life.

Real college is hard! Well, not really. NYU is actually remarkably not difficult for the reputation it has. The classes are pretty easy it's just strange not taking creative classes. I haven't done purely academic work since high school and it's hard for me to concentrate. It's a pretty lame complaint because I know regular college stuff is what everyone goes through and I'm definitely not complaining - just a strange change of pace for me. It makes me realize that even if I'm not successful in film that art school was definitely the right choice for me. I'm so bored with my classes this semester and I never feel that way at NYU. Even when I'm ready for the work to wind down I'm always really energized by my film classes. 

At the moment I'm taking Italian, History of the Medieval Church, Politics of Organized Crime and Florentine Villas. Italian is hard because I'm terrible with languages but luckily I have a lax teacher. She's a little Italian lady who has the look of someone who's been chain smoking for the last 40 years of her life (and she's probably like 45). My other classes are pretty cool. We visited a lot of really nice villas in the Florentine villas class but the teacher doesn't speak very good English so it's hard to grasp anything from what she tries to explain to us. 

I haven't really traveled as much as I would have liked to this semester. Travel in Europe is REALLY expensive. I mean, much cheaper than getting from the US to anywhere but for someone on any sort of budget. It's also a bummer because NYU is a school for mostly really affluent people, especially the school of arts & sciences (which is what I'm currently studying in, though I am actually part of the performing arts school). There's a ton of people with a lot of money floating around who travel every weekend on really extravagant trips and it's hard not not be jealous. 

From what I have done, though, I love the travel aspect of study abroad. I went to Scotland over spring break and it was really amazing. I didn't want to leave. We went to Switzerland last weekend which was really great. We ended up going to a town that was built only for people doing winter sports so there wasn't much for us to do, which was disappointing. We didn't have the money to do any of the activities, nor did I really want to. Plus, Switzerland is insanely expensive because it's sort of isolated and has a booming economy. Most meals at regular style restaurants were over 20 dollars. It was so amazing to see the Alps though. We took a train up to a ski town in the mountains and it was really fantastic. It was really beautiful and I'm so glad I went. We've had a lot of troubles with travel too. We had to cancel a trip to Paris without getting a refund from our flights which sucked so much. We had an event scheduled for class at the last minute and we couldn't miss it without losing two letter grades. I was really upset. We also had a problem with our tickets to Switzerland and had to re-purchase them for twice the price day of (we would have considered not going but we were already far North in Italy so we would have had to pay to take the train back either way). Europe (especially Italy)  is a frustrating place in a lot of ways. Maddy mentioned this but there's just so many conveniences you don't realize about the United States. It's hard to fix problems when you don't speak the language well or you are just generally an outsider.

I also miss the food. Dear god, I miss food. I'm living on campus this semester so I have a required meal plan and the cafeteria is really not good. It's all Italian food but it's very different than what we consider Italian food. There's tons of meat and fish and very little vegetarian options. They also use a lot of strange combinations of flavor. It's hard to explain in a specific way but overall its just really not good. I think it's something that, though it seems really silly, has made the whole semester a lot harder. Having to eat cafeteria food that you really don't like gives you this overwhelming feeling that you totally lack control of your life. Everything is new about the semester - and different and complicated - and you can't even make yourself feel better by eating something you like. It's a stupid complaint - I just miss having a stove and a kitchen and things like bread with salt. On that note, you should know that Florence does not make their bread with salt. This is because during the Middle Ages, when the cities within Italy were city-states, Florence was at war with Pisa which was their supplier of salt. So Florence decided to say fuck it to Pisa and decided they didn't need their salt and made all their bread without salt. They have done it ever since and it tastes like crap. Pisa definitely won this one. It's really time for Florence to give in on this one.

I think that's a sort of strange explanation of Florence and Italy.  Italy has a very specific feel compared to the rest of Europe. Italy has a really rich and powerful past - the Renaissance, ancient Rome, the Etruscans, the home of the popes and more. They're really proud of this - as well they should be, but it has a distinct feel that they haven't moved forward. Italy has a really backwards government that was governed by one political party for a long time. It has a ton of corruption, large amounts of organized crime, and transportation strikes almost every week. It has this overwhelming feel of the fact that the culture really believes they've accomplished everything they need to. It's so strangely different from the political and societal feel of the United States - we are constantly emphasizing what we are going to do, what we can change and where we are going. How we can improve the future, what we can make better or more efficient, what we can discover about the world. I don't mean to sound narrow minded. I know all people in Italy are not like this (I've met some great Italians, don't get me wrong) - in the same way not all Americans are about moving forward - it's just a strange very different cultural feeling that I've gotten from the last semester. It makes me glad to be from the United States in a way I never expected, which, I think, is a big purpose of study abroad. Our professor for our villas class told us that Etruscan remains were really incredible because they were from thousands of years ago and that you can't find anything like this in the United States - because we have nothing this old. I understand what she meant - true, we didn't have an organized civilization on the scale of the Etruscans at that time period - but we still have archeological history. It's a very narrow-minded view to see North America as having nothing from thousands of years ago. We have indigenous people and a past. It's just different.

ANYWAY, weird rant over. I'm really glad study abroad is coming to an end. I think when it's over I'll have some really good memories from it - and things that made me stronger blah blah blah. But I'm just so freaking ready to be home. I miss having friends so much. I'm really horrible at meeting people and I really don't like any of the people here. All the people I've hung out with, mostly my roommates and girls from my floor, are really....just shallow. They're not very smart and they're not really interesting. They're kind of from this little bubble of wealthy white neighborhoods. My roommate constantly points out when there's lots of asian people around and it's sort of awkward. I feel bad because I've kind of bailed on them as friends but I'm just really spoiled by you guys. Nobody is ever as good and sometimes its hard to think about making new friends when I know I have much better ones waiting for me. I miss you guys :(

I also miss Hannah and Kaitlin a lot, though it's been sort of weird with them this semester. They're both sort of flaky and they never really get back to you when you try to contact them. It's like we're SO close when we're together and we never talk when we aren't - and I'm not used to having friends like that. It's totally irrational but sometimes it makes me feel like they don't really want to talk to me or something. They're also going to London next semester so it'll be really strange going back to NYU and not having my close friends there. 

I have all my classes for next semester which I'm really excited for. I need to figure out my internship and work situations too but that's really stressful. I should be applying to more internships but I'm so scared of not getting them that I'm psyching myself out and putting it off. The whole future is terrifying. I'm graduating a semester early and only taking two classes my final semester - which means I'll be a part time student. That means I really only have one semester left of real college - and then I have to do things like...get a job. That's completely terrifying. The creative field is such a scary place. I really want to work in writing - either print, publishing, or film - but it's so hard to get anywhere as a writer. There's no path to get to these places and that makes the future a vague and scary, scary place. 

Well, in conclusion, now that my word vomit is coming to an end - there's all my big bundle of feelings and study abroad experiences. I can't wait to see you guys soon! 

Also, I'm twenty-one and that's really, really exciting.